Stretching The Comfort Zone

Every End has a New Beginning

2007-09-30T00:27:00.000+08:00

I started this blog for my personal reference. Though I kept it public, it was not initially meant for others. Put it offline for a while when I realised people chance upon it.

It no longer bothers me if people read it, therefore it's back. Updates will be on my new blog instead.

I got a different set of Questions

2007-01-13T21:48:00.000+08:00

In this life, one gets a different challenges from the other bloke. There is no exact answers to the questions... but the right answers are there to be found.

I feel there is so much potential awaiting to emerge from me. It feels like I have come to a juncture in my life whereby I can finally fly out of the abyss. Easy... it will not be. But I pray that I will achieve it.

I got my set of question paper and I intend to ace the examinations of life.

Tv Mobile and Now we Wait

2006-12-22T00:29:00.000+08:00

It has been crazy. But we made it somehow. Time is always the enemy in any production. This is no difference for the humble Hari Raya Haji clip for tv mobile.

Amidst the busy schedule of exams and schoolwork, we came to a gloomy realisation that we have been doing on the wrong Hari Raya. It was meant to be Eid Adha, not Eid Fitri. Trying to salvage what we had was almost impossible. At least that was what I felt. Already, the common people are confused between the celebrations of Hari Raya Puasa and Hari Raya Haji.

I am in a position to somehow put the record straight to a small extent. I can't just submit an animation for Hari Raya Puasa as an animation for Hari Raya Haji. And I am glad that I took the harder route.

It was a learning experience. People are puzzled with my medium of working. In a world of 3D, people seems to scorn upon my choice of 2D animation... in flash. I am no great animator. There is a lot I can still learn. More time that I can put in as practice. My preference to flash is because I think that it is a n excellent medium for independent animators. I would love to work well with others but, there is that tendency to just work alone.

Also, I have not entirely closed my option on the interactive media track. Again, I feel that flash is the ultimate tool for this purpose.

With the limited time we had, it's hardly animated. But do stay tuned to see our creation on tv mobile.

Jalan raya

2006-11-24T02:50:00.000+08:00

Last Saturday, NI and NYPMS got together for another jalan raya. Since it was already towards the end of Syawal, the mood was not as much...for me. I decided to don half-kurung. Baju kurung dengan jeans.

As it turned out the bus driver Adi and Shikin booked turned out to be my maternal cousin's paternal's uncle. Tak paham? ... mak aku punye adik punye laki punye adik beradik. Ish ish ish kasar betul.

So anyway, it was great but missed having some of the old guys who did not tag along this time round. Wonder what next year will bring.

Firdaus - 13

2006-11-04T10:39:00.000+08:00

The first day of work at Pizza Hut as a rider was okay. I actually forgot how tiring the work could. People were all new. There was only one other guy whom I knew from last time. Even he just started working there again only recently.

There are some differences on how everything runs. There is some difference of the area we cover. Also, we no longer do KFC orders. One annoying thing is the barrier in Hougang Mall that has just been recently installed. I wanted to use my personal bike but having to risk parking my bike outside is somewhat a deterrent. Of course I would need to pay for the insurance before starting work.

Another annoying thing is refuelling. We would have to remove the delivery box before we can actually fill the bike. Also we now fill at shell where there is only one station.

Extra Cash

2006-11-03T00:51:00.000+08:00

I went to apply for a job a a Pizza Hut rider at Hougang Mall last Wednesday. Why?

I will be start work later today at 5pm. I used to work there for some time 2 years ago when I finished my national service. Some fond memories there. Things are definitely different as there is no longer a Pizza Hut outlet in Hougang Mall, just the kitchen with KFC still standing where it stood. I cannot help but be a little excited of starting work again.

Being a full time polytechnic student can be tough as it is. Being in the course that I am in is tougher than some others, I think. And there is the weekend and night classes that I take. Now try adding part time work to every other time that I have left...

I will have to feel for myself as how things will turn out. Having that extra cash will do me good. At the age that I am, independence is good. I already have some plans in mind. I can finally take class 3 license during every other, other time. Driving school is just behind my school.

On the business level, I can start hosting my own personal site. And the money will come handy for a business start up after getting my diploma. It will definitely be a challenge. In no way will it be easy for me to achieve. Work wise will not be too hard to adapt as it is something that I used to do. It will be more about making use of every second of time that I have.

Can't wait!

Ramadhan

2006-10-09T01:17:00.000+08:00

We have crossed the mid of Ramadhan. Insyallah this Ramadhan has created an impact to all of us. Alhamdulilah, I am greatful that I am still here to perform ibadah.

Well this year has been quite a trying year for me. This year I have seen reminders from Allah. One in the form of deaths. Death of a friend, neighbour and closer still, my grandfather followed by my uncle just a couple of weeks before Ramadhan. Second in the form of the war in Lebanon which have quieten down for now. Thirdly the haze that has befallen our nation. Surely the end of time is near. Of course there are more signs out there. We only need to open our eyes and mind.

I do not know if this will be my last Ramadhan. Despite all worldly distractions, I will try to do my best this month. It helps that I am on school break for the first 3 weeks of Ramadhan.

Another thing that has consistently been weighing on my mind is my future. I cannot really see myself animating for a living. At least not at this very moment. Among the reason is I am not naturally talented at this field. Even when I give my best, I do not attain the standard that I perceive to be acceptable. I am resigned to finish the course however. Perhaps I might discover something I like in this field, as I go on.

Also, at the age that I am, I really need to stop depending on my parents financially. Hence, again, I have been thinking of taking up part-time job ie. pizza rider that I was. At least for the duration for the coming second semester. I should be able to earn enough to pay for my class 3 license. Part of my choice of studying in NYP is because of the driving centre nearby. That should at least give some sense of accomplishement for the moment.

Death of a friend

2006-07-20T00:13:00.001+08:00

Been a while since my last entry. That does not mean that life has been quiet though. Other than trying to meet deadlines for my assignments, there are other commitments. Two of my siblings got the dengue fever. Sibling no.4 got hospitalised for 5 days while no.6's case was not as bad and could rest at home.

This would have been enough to make us human think of how fragile our life can be. I got a shocker when I received an SMS during 3D animation class on Tuesday 11 July 2006. It was from fellow ex-campmate's handphone. It said that he had passed away.

I could not make it for the burial ceremony because of school. Some of our guardroom personnel did make it though. For some of us who could not make it, paid a visit of condolence that night. I had to miss the highly anticipated NYPMS gathering. I was glad though as I felt some closure to the whole episode.

The sickness he suffered was abrupt. He was admitted just the day before. From what his father said, it was a virus infection to the lungs. His lungs collapsed. He was no smoker or drinker. At 23, Rahman was a year younger than me. He was doing his diploma in Ngee Ann while me in Nanyang. We used to compare our grades. He was doing well in school. He wanted to be a pilot but settled with Aerospace. He loved planes. I brought him along to Asian Aerospace when I won tickets to the show.

He had wanted to train with me for his IPPT. He had wanted to run with me on Tuesdays when the new school term started. When the day came, he did not contact him. I did not contact him back as my leg was and still giving me problems. 2 weeks later, on a Tuesday, I got that SMS.

I do not know how much time I have left. I am still not living to the most that I can. I shall muhasabah, reflect on the things that I do daily. I shall make today better than tomorrow. And don't forget to say thanks to Allah for nothing that you have is truly yours.

Now that MSN contact will forever stay offline... Inna lillah wa inna ilaihi ra jii unn.

Reality Check

2006-06-20T13:21:00.000+08:00

It's Tuesday of the last week of 2 weeks term break. Term break does not describe what I am feeling right now. Yes, this is another post whining about my situation. I may be wrong but I am bogged down with the most amount of work for this term break. I am partly at fault for choosing Authoring as a an elective. Seriously, I love the class but one really has to work hard for the class. I spent the first week chilling most of the times. But I did put in time for work.

Just to show how dead I am. The list of things to be done...

animation run cyle in colour
3d head modelling
animation for children society
photo album application in flash with report (this is hardcore)
practise 3d animation test
web design researh typographer (20 pages)
web design css assignment

i will add if i remember more...

Mana Drained

2006-06-05T10:33:00.000+08:00

My last week of the first term of year 2. I feel so drained out that things are getting out of my control. My GPA is definitely going to suffer. It is time to step back and analyse my situation. I don't want another term of this. The good news is definitely the term break. I can really use one right now. Just need to hold on a little longer.

I need to have a clear vision of where I am heading. What I want to do after this diploma. At the rate I am going, entering a local Uni is seems very unlikely. When you look at it, top 5% of a cohort of 200 is being the best 10 out there. Then again, maybe that is not the life meant for me. Maybe there is a focus in this whole digital media design that I can be really good at. Whatever it is, I am sure the lecturers out there will be happy to help out.

Most definitely need to be closer to Allah. It will help me keep a peaceful outlook within the chaos.

losing you...

2006-06-03T02:02:00.000+08:00

I lost my thumbdrive. Maybe for good, maybe I'll find it again someday. Alhamdulillah, I have some cash in hand to get myself a new one. So I went to Suntec to get my thumbdrive at the PC show. Actually I had wanted to get an external hard drive since my hard disc is running out of space as well. It turned out that the 250GB external HD requires a power source. I can't be attached directly to USB. Got a 1GB thumbdrive instead.

As usual, the place was packed to the max. Luckily I could move around fairly easy this time round. Didnt stay too long. Stopped by the book fair below. I think I saw my ustaz dressed in office wear.

New Tyres

2006-05-19T18:00:00.000+08:00

After buying my X-1 a year and 4 months ago, I set into a delusional state that I would not need to repair my bike as it was brand new. Yesterday, reality said hello to me in the face. I discovered that my back tyre was flat when I wanted to go to school with my brother. This is the third time my bike had a flat. Luckily there is a spare motorcycle which my older brother rides. Off to school.

On returning from school, I decided to send my X-1 to the workshop. I thought that it would be another $13 job to change the tubing. Boy was I wrong. A couple of my rim's spokes were already broken for a long time. I decided not to change as all motorbike shop I know will change the whole set. I just found that ridiculous hence ignoring the broken spokes.

So when the mechanic took apart my rear wheel, my brake pads were gone and some internal soft padding inside my rear wheel were crushed to pieces. Of course my rear tyre no longer grips. Dah botak. Changed what was needed and bought a bigger tyre.

The bigger tyre was a great investment. My peng-ibility index increased tremendously. Sekarang dah boleh peng. Rindu feeling peng. Apa nak buat, nak budget minyak, bawa moto kecik.

So total charge $114. Tawar apek $110. Habis duit Progress government.

Another long day

2006-05-02T22:03:00.000+08:00

It will be yet another long day tomorrow. Still, I must say I am having fun learning 3D animation and modelling. Tough work but fun. Also been busy trying to pitch an animation for Children Society. They are looking for an animation on School Bully.

When I say long, I mean my day will drag from 8 in the morning till 9++pm. Still not bad really. After all I will be having 2 breaks 1 hr and 2 and a half hr.

Having my bro studying at NYP has been quite uneventful. I give him a lift to school on some days. But most of the times, it makes no difference.

Taxi

2006-04-20T11:30:00.000+08:00

As I was stopping for the red like, I noticed a name at the boot 'Daniel .....' on a TransCab taxi next to me. I thought to myself, " I did'nt know people customised their taxi." As I squeezed in between the taxi and another vehicle beside it, I noticed something cool. The rims of the taxi was spinning. The rim cover was of sporty metallic design. A red disc is seen spinning inside. That was pretty cool.

As the light turned for green, I had to satisfy my curiousity and have a good look at the taxi. From the back of the taxi, get this.... I saw a spoiler! A taxi with a spoiler! The spoiler was tiny, not the cool sporty type. The spoiler was a spoiler(pun intended). There were also 3 atennas sticking out of the taxi.

The driver tried a little to hard to make the taxi look cool. He failed quite miserably. Firstly, the design of a TransCab taxi is not flashy. A white taxi like the Mercedes taxi could have pulled off the look with confident subtlety.

I am a big fan of the French Taxi movie series. Not the american one. Then again... whatever makes you happy if it does'nt hurt anyone.

LIVE! Crashing, Smashing News!!

2006-04-15T19:42:00.000+08:00

It's early in the morning and I in one of those 'Yes, I Can!' phase. Hoping to get back to my former glory physical back in the NS days.

Punggol Park is about 5 minutes walk from my place. I was walking, still feeling a little sleepy. I was not paying much attention to my surrounding. When I came to the road junction, I pressed the button for the traffic light, my eyes watching my hands, and all of a sudden...

"Screechh!!" (starts to turn my head)

"Bang!"

Two silver cars just collided in front of me, just 3 long steps away from me. I jumped back slightly. I saw was two wrecked cars, one slightly worse than the other. I was pretty relieved to see that everyone involved seemed to be okay. One kid in one of the cars seemed shaken but okay. When the driver of one of the car got out and took out a handphone, I took it as a cue as I was not needed there. I did not even see what happened and had no idea who was at fault hence rendering myself not needed. It was a typical case of one car turning and the other is going straight.

I crossed the road but kept myself a distance from the vehicles. I saw fluids dripping from the cars and Hollywood taught me that dripping fluids = explosion. Even though I know cars hardly ever burn up in flames in collisions, I had that slight paranoaia feeling. Maybe it's because of the movie I watched the night before: Trauma.

And so I walked towards the park while many bystanders were walking towards the accident scene to check what made the noise.

I just ran a measely 1 round around Punggol Park. By the time I was finished, the ambulance, one police officer on a scooter and a traffic police officer were already doing their job. I was impressed by their response time. "Or is it because I ran very slow?" As I passed by the ambulance I could hear the cries of a child. It made me think, "What could I have done?" But I know there was nothing else I could do.

Occurences like this should make one stop and think. As a rider it made me think and thankful to Allah that I have not met in any accidents. I am not including the time when I fell down on a slippery slope while riding my scooter... twice (one when I was going in the carpark and one while leaving the carpark just after of the same trip). It was probably time to change my tyres. It was when I was working as a delivery boy for a finance newspaper. Also not including the time I hit my motorbike mirror against the back of a lorry. I didn't see the lorry brake as I was checking my sideview mirror way too long. I could not brake in time... I just veered to my right. Thankfully, I was still in control after impact, just losing my left mirror and a superficial scratch on my left forearm. I only realised I was bleeding when I felt a trickle of liquid on my hand. I was still new at riding when that happened. And also, not counting the time I fell of my pizza hut scooter while doing a u-turn. There were sand on the road. No wonder I fell. This time I bled pretty bad, and still have the scars on my knees. Of course, I went to deliver my KFC before getting any medical attention.

I am lucky. I am thankful.

Now back to my story... The family went to Jurong Bird Park today. It was okay but it rained. Along the way, I saw 2 other accidents on the road.

I am thankful. Alhamdulillah.

What comes next?

2006-04-12T07:17:00.000+08:00

A new school year will begin very soon for me. For my first year I tried my best academically and it paid off. However I began to lose the drive for my latest studio project 2 and got my first B because of it. Among the reasons, I am unsure of which specialisation I wanted to take for this year.

It feels like time is flying past just like that. Technically I have 1 yr 6 mths left of school to finish 4 semesters worth of work. The horror just imagining the workload that is coming my way, if I want to remain the best that I can be.

To me it's another year, another agenda. Unlike my first year, I want to earn my CCA points this time round. Hopefully we can establish a new club. Hopefully I can play my part to make it happen. I have been busy with meetings. Really want our dream to be realised.

Need to go for semestral briefing today at 10am...

Field Trip and a Crocodile on CTE!!!

2006-04-05T23:17:00.000+08:00

Yeah!! Most of the class went to Union Building to see Mr Dominic's office. It's called Warisan. It was not what I expected. It gave me an idea of what life could be like. I could'nt join for coffee as I had to rush for my CCA meeting.

The highlight of the day was the journey to NYP on my X1. There was a crocodile in the middle of the road. It was dead. It was less than a metre long. It is sad. I believe it dropped from a lorry that smuggled it. IPPT to be failed tomorrow.... incoming cramps.

The holidays so far...

2006-03-27T15:31:00.000+08:00

I went night cycling with Adi, Ishak and 3 muslimah.

Designing my cousin's company logo.

Putting up my friend's website. I befriended him from NS. He is trying to make to the SEA GAMES. The website need more work though...

Accompanying my bro to medical check-up. He's joining NYP soon.

Lots of DOTA.

NYPMS usrah.

Forum at Istiqamah.

Catching the flu.

and some other things...

Mummy! It's Over

2006-03-14T10:35:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was my Studio Project 2 assessment/presentation. My first poly year is officially over. Yay! I have to say that the assessment was quite anti-climax. Here we have me working my sweat out for 3 weeks just to have 2 lecturers browse my work for 10 minutes which felt shorter to me. Whatever it is, I am glad it's over. Holidays!

I learnt something from myself from these 3 weeks. I am a bad organiser. My room still looks like a tornado passed through it. It's not entirely my fault... i think. I had to juggle doing many things in a very confined space. I was caught up trying to make my own animation studio. Attaching my bro's video camera to my computer. It was not easy to get the lighting done and to have the camera shoot the right angle. But I did. I have 1 month to create a new system of efficient working in my room.

The best shock came on Saturday. I was playing DOTA and my computer actually died on me. I had yet to burn my animation on CD. Luck upon luck, my hard disk was still functioning...barely... with all the files intact. I had to place it as a Slave drive on my bro's computer. The MBR suffered. Need to format the hard disk before I can use it on my computer again but there's too many important things in there. I might need to get another hard disk to transfer my files first. NO MONEY :<>

Here's my animation. Enjoy! Not my best.. faint lines and all but do enjoy.

Video Sharing at DropShots.com

No, I did not get it

2006-03-03T16:31:00.000+08:00

I got a e-mail from Andalus today. I would have really loved to work for a company that champions in religious knowledge. Still it was not in vain. I now realise that I should work on my portfolio and that it should cover a multitude of styles. I also learn that I need to improve my communication skills and sell myself to my clients.

Also today my brother got his polytechnic posting. He is joining me in NYP. I will psycho he and his friends to join NYPMS. Can save some transportation money when I ask him to pay half my oil money to 'tumpang' him to school. 2nd week of studio project coming to an end... 1 more week to go!

Also got an opportunity to work as a promoter for Acer to sell notebooks. The thing is it falls on the 3rd week of studio project. I could go for the 4 days stint as there are no official class on those days. And my assessment/presentation for the comes just after that 4th day. Busy days...need to decide....

AA 2006

2006-02-25T22:37:00.000+08:00

Well it was kinda neutral experience for me. It is quite saddening as all I thought at the back of my mind is that all these technologies comes from the western world. Where is Islam in the field of aviation?

Well there is a Middle East section promoting its airlines with air stewardesses. Not even Islamic I would say.

The airshow was okay but the lapse between one flight to another was a little slow. The commentary was not audible. That is the down point of the whole experience. If anyone of you want to watch airshows in the future, try to bring sunglasses, umbrella, binoculars and a good set of camera that can really zoom in. That would have been great. Bring along a bottle of water as well.

I went with Rahman, a NS friend who is taking aerospace engineering. He enjoyed it but made me suffer in a way coz he's always staying at one place a little too long. For his schoolwork he says. But it's okay..

Here are more complaints: The food and drinks there are rip offs. And going back is a long walk to the bus station.

How I would rate the whole experience : Thank god I didn't pay for the tickets.

just a glimpse...

Hell Week

2006-02-24T01:44:00.000+08:00

This is my first week of Studio Project and I am way behind. I am so weak. I got distracted by a number of things. Winning the aerospace contest thing. Collecting the prize on Monday and cashing in the cheque on Tuesday. Preparing and going for a part time illustrator interview with Andalus on Wednesday. Also found out that Remy teaches there. Getting pestered by my brothers (who apparently have way too much time at the time being) to play DOTA. I am weak. I succumbed to the game.

And by the freakiest of freak chance, my older brother won a chalet stay on Wednesday. And I got dragged into it as I felt obligated to make it a full family event, the whole 6 siblings, mom, dad and grandma. Of course, I never want to compromise my religious studies on Thursday nights. I want to go for the aerospace event tomorrow. And there's PERGAS on Sunday.

And yet there are many people i know who have more things going on in their lives. How do they cope?

Studio Project

2006-02-20T20:04:00.000+08:00

Studio project officially begins today. I am psyched up as to how the end product(pun intended) ends up. Or maybe its the coffee talking. For this project I have to animate a jumping rice sack in an original story of a 30 seconds length. I am going to have fun doing this. I am going to lose sleep over this. I am going to lose money on this (Alhamdulilah for the $100 i won and the $400 that i should be getting as an NsMan). For 3 weeks, live will be a challenge.

Apart from the animation, I would need to design its packaging and prepare my portfolio.

Also, I collected my prize this afternoon at Starhub centre. The ticket is for this Saturday's show. I shall work hard then play hard this Saturday. Still don't know who to bring though...

Congratulations! You have won $100 and 2 pairs of tickets to Asian Aerospace 2006

2006-02-15T20:36:00.000+08:00

I was pleasantly surprised when I opened an email yesterday. I almost deleted the email without reading it. I decided to open it when I read it came from .... @ stengg.com, guessing that it was from Singapore Technologies Engineering. I won the Tangram Game Contest organised in promoting the Asian Aerospace 2006.

I was ecstatic, to say the least. I finally made money through designing. Well, actually my first paid design was a drawing of a helicopter. A classmate of mine bought it for 20 cents back in primary school.

I stumbled upon the contest from my school email spread by one of the lecturers. So I decided to give it a try. It was an easy 'game'. You are to create a logo of sorts from given basic shapes of triangles, squares and parallelograms. While doing it, I got engrossed with it and spent a little more time than I expected. At the back of my mind, I was thinking, " I am wasting my time here. There's lots of things that I could be doing instead. It was worth every second of it.

Now..... Who should I bring along??

Kelas Harfiyah

2006-02-09T23:05:00.000+08:00

Just came back from my weekly my Harfiyah class which is an Al-Quran translation class. We just crossed the 100th ayat of Al-Baqarah. It took us more than a year to get where we are. I started this class in January 2005. Alhamdulilah I made it this far. I hope to put in more effort in this class and learning Al-Quran and arabic. Apart from this, I am a second year student in Pergas. "Masuk lambat sikit, tapi insyaallah bermanfaat."

Yet, I know I have a very long way to go fortify my spiritual self. For those interested to join this Harfiyah class, it's free. You pay if you want, ikhlas. It is being conducted in a number of places. I am taking the one at Muhammadiyah near Kembangan MRT station, conducted weekly on Thursday at 9pm till 10.15ish pm. Those interested can just drop me a message. Feel free to ask me about it also.

Hiking @ McRitchie

2006-02-04T20:22:00.000+08:00

I took time off from a busy week to do some hiking with NYPMS. It was a great experience. The organisers did splendid with this event. I came expecting a typical hike, just walking together. I was pleasantly surprised that we were to hike, amazing race style.

We were divided into 5 groups with around 4 paticipants per team. It was a nice to be at the outdoors. 4hrs +++ of walking passed by relatively fast. The rain is like an icing to a cake.

?questions?

2006-01-30T23:41:00.000+08:00

I have not been myself lately. That need not be necessarily be a bad thing. As the end of my first year is looming it just got me thinking a lot. Too much. Way too much. Wasting my time too much.

It is the whole universal thought of being. What I want to be question. The questioned that is stumped by my own inadequacies. Which specialisation would serve me the best for my greater purpose in life. Animation or interactive media.

Of course there are other questions. In the end, it is all still a big mystery. But I came out with one thing though. I want to be critcal of myself. Very critical of myself. Perhaps slightly overly critical of myself.

Then there is the question of reluctance of taking up the animation specialisation. I am damn sure that it is going to take so much work. I do not know if I want that muck workload. I know my talents.... and they are limited. I have to work at least 3 times as hard to be at a level that I would be satisfied of myself.

And then there are other questions...

Did it!

2006-01-19T19:16:00.000+08:00

There were less than 200 people in the lecture theatre. It's because of the Polytechnics Open House and some of us were involved. There were about 6 of us who presented our work and guess what, I was the first one out. There were no representative from Group1 and 2. Naturally I was the first to face the firing squad.

It was not awful but, man I really need to learn how to storytell. After doing it I don't feel that the experience is as monumental as I visualise it to be.

At times...

2006-01-18T19:10:00.000+08:00

At times I feel its a losing battle.

REwIrEd -- Is this the turning point?

2006-01-16T22:16:00.000+08:00

I bought a 15m twisted pair cable an ethernet card the last weekend. I wasted time fixing up the line for my internet connection. It was all worth it. Even though I have tonnes of homework. It's just amazing how fast time flies.

I am in the second week of my my 2nd year PERGAS class. Things are good even thought hectic at times. My Storyboard tutor, Mr Dominic selected me to present my storyboard assignment(man crossing the road) during lecture. It's the entire year 1 DMD students!! That's 200 students strong. He is giving me a choice whether or not I would present my work on that day. He said that probably he had reservations on whether or not I am willing to do so.

Naturally as a introvert, I see this as a challenge. BUT I am hoping that I would be able to go through with it this coming thursday. Firstly I would like to represent the Malay community, my class 0503, being the only one chosen(cannot let them down), and most importantly myself.

Years ago I made a mistake of thinking that doing things for myself is bad. That screwed me up big time.

To be or not to be...

62410241

2005-12-21T19:43:00.000+08:00

I received a call by a guy called Darren last Sunday. He was a manager from Canadian Pizza. I did try to apply for a job there before I started school. He asked me whether I rememebered him and if I wanted to work there. I declined giving school as an excuse. I was a little surprised but it got me thinking again that perhaps I could take a weekend job or something. A little money is always good of course. I won't jeopardise my studies though.

No Money No Cry

2005-12-16T21:53:00.000+08:00

This entry is entirely dedicated to money and my lack of it. Without money life does go on. But how you may wonder. Firstly, you don't eat your lunch at school. You go home and have lunch. Alhamdulillah. I am lucky that there is always something there to it. And of course, the last time you would have last seen a movie is 5231237498 months ago. Again, I am lucky. I get to watch movies for my class. Or at least some short clips.

When money seems depleted, fret not. Why? There will always be something else that will bug you for even more. For example, say, the motorcycle insurance needs to be renewed. Okay, some of you might be thinking : "Just sell the bloody bike!". It's debatable. But I will stick to the idea that one should be smart and invest even when one has no money. I for one decided to buy the bike because of the low oil comsuption. And there are 456782348 useful things I could do with my bike. I also make it a point to pay for some insurance I took up during national service.

As I step back and look at my life, I am glad at what I have. Alhamdulillah.

DOTA

2005-12-10T06:05:00.000+08:00

I have been long a fan of warcraft but was very reluctant to pick DOTA up because as in all games, you have to basically learn and study before you can become good at it. I was able to say no when my brother asked me to try playing the game with him based on the same reason.

However, when my classmates, of DMD0503 asked me, I could not refuse. It was fun playing up to 10 people together. Yes, its wasting my time but its fun at the same time. Of course I am not fanatical to a point of not able to resist but hooked enough to try to read up on strategieshy? Cos I suck at it.

Jalan2 Raya

2005-11-29T21:39:00.000+08:00

Okay, these few weeks of the new semester have been very busy... and I am glad. I learnt that I could manage the pressure on me. My PERGAS exam will end this Sunday, and Hari Raya mood is fading but the memories remain.

Last Saturday, NI and NYPMS went out together for Hari Raya visiting. Definitely one of the highlights of NYPMS events. Everything went great. We went visiting, sought forgiveness from one another and not leaving out our obligations towards Allah. Got to spend more time with members of NI and NYPMS. It was fun.

For next year, maybe I'll just ride my bike.

Maya 7

2005-11-17T02:06:00.000+08:00

I am thrilled that I am beginning to learn to use Maya or rather doing 3D modelling in general. This semester's module is much more interesting than the previous one.

Currently busy. But the new timetable makes it more flexible for me to plan my time.

Self-Sabotage

2005-11-10T13:14:00.000+08:00

I have seen some actions in me that propels me to where I want to be. These changes however is challenged by the forces of status quo. Not changing is self-sabotage.

I am now in the second semester of school. I am expecting great things but I also feel some burden being put on my shoulders. Getting started feels heavy. And I don't want that. Perhaps I am expecting a lot from myself now is taking some toll. But I know I call pull it together. Perhaps more focus is needed. I want to be fit. I want to do well. I need to prepare for Pergas exams. The need to adjust to the new timetable. Still in the midst of Aidilfitri is a little too cluttered. Also money, I feel the need to get part time work.

I am sabotaging myself by putting off work. Did some good things but initiating some things. In fact things are looking brighter than they ever were.

Aidilfitri

2005-11-06T13:59:00.000+08:00

It is the 4th day of Syawal. I did not finish up my wall painting the way that I wanted but, I guess I have had enough for now. It was amazing how I tortured myself to get the best result.

Also, tomorrow 2nd semester of school will start. I am psyched up about the possibility of doing a degree for 2 years after my 3 years of diploma in nanyang poly. Of course, getting there will be a challenge in itself. I would need to maintain at least a B average for my grades. And then there is the issue of money.

Talking about money, again, I feel the need to earn for myself. At least offset some cost of my life, my parents are shouldering. Maybe if there is very flexible work out there...

Tips for Painting Art on a Wall

2005-10-25T15:03:00.000+08:00

Last night I took a leap of faith in my artistic talent. I decided to go ahead to paint my wall a picture of my mother's 'rumah kampung' (village's house). It is definitely something new, working on a much bigger space; using a new media; without much knowledge of mixing paint to form various colours.

Here are some tips I've come up with:

Pre-mix a colour that you use a lot in large amount(suffice for the whole project)
You could add tints and shades to the colour without worrying how to mix the colours again
Charcoal is easy for rough lines on the wall but proves to be a bug when it mixes with the paint when I start applying paint
Work in stages (i tried to go for the whole look before enough preparation)

I am still in the process of painting it. Here's what happened

The canvas before

Painted with rough sketch

Final guide outline in charcoal

Final product as on 25 Oct 2005

Project Iftar

2005-10-19T23:01:00.000+08:00

Things went smoothly for NYPMS. I did my part well in the distribution of the porridge. Overall it was great.

Beyond

2005-10-13T00:33:00.000+08:00

What does it take to go beyond. To go beyond self and achieve greatness. I am having trouble again. I am not doing the best, slacking my way through the days.

Another concern is money. I am going to need more money when school reopens. Bills are ever piling up. One semester is gone. I hope to do as well or better in the future. What will it take for me to overcome my fears?

Holiday

2005-10-08T23:15:00.000+08:00

My first week of my semester break is passing by. There was the class chalet and nothing much after that.

Ramadhan is here and I must do good with the time that I have. There are many ideas of what I can accomplsih with the time at hand but have not started to do so.

Another total waste of my life is that I have been sleeping more than usual. I hate doing that. There is so much things to be done. What a waste. So I shall get on to plan the remaining time that I have wisely.

Basic Theory

2005-10-01T07:13:00.000+08:00

Well, I'm up early in the morning to study for my basic theory test today. My holiday has officially started from last Thursday after my 'okay' Studio Project presentation. I am glad that I have made through this far. I am looking forward the new semester.

It seems that there will be changes in the module sense. It is said that things will be more flexibility. Flexibilty is always a good thing. However, I hope this experimentational stage will not compromise us in any way.

Tutoring

2005-09-27T22:19:00.000+08:00

I have never seen myself as the tutor material. Obvious reason being that I am not a people person. Changing that. However tutoring Sharir yesterday was fun. He opened up to me. I remember my days in Primary School.

He wants to remain as a kid. He does not want to grow up he says. I never felt that way until I was a teenager. As a 23 year old, I feel, the least that I can do is to teach the younger people not to repeat the mistakes that I made. I am at least responsible of that as an adult.

Struggle

2005-09-20T19:42:00.000+08:00

Struggle is the path towards greatness. Everything that one desires comes with a price to pay. You have to follow through a process to get to your destination.

Struggle for the truth.

Zoo Visit

2005-09-13T17:45:00.000+08:00

I went to the zoo for school's Studio Project. Guess what, we had to pay for it, all $15 each. I had to draw pelicans. It's a cool animal. Some others are ahead in their journal. I shall not lose out of course. After a dismal performance for my last few assignments, I want to score even if it is forced.

I had lunch in the form of KFC zinger meal. I did not stay longer than I should and did not make any special move as usual. I rode home with my X-1 and discovered that my Yamaha logo stickers on both side of the motorcycle is missing. Darn it. Don't know when it happened. And the picture of the day is...

Studio Project

2005-09-07T21:40:00.000+08:00

The semester is going to a close. But I am feeling a little low of the whole situation. It seems that I am not putting in my all for my last few assignments toward the end. I will survive though.

Again, money is partly the issue here. It feels that all my money is going to my course. And I cannot afford to spend all that I have.

Studio project begins but it is ironic because I would be doing most of the work at home.

Week 14

2005-08-31T10:11:00.000+08:00

I just finished my UM test today. I am expecting a B or hopefully an A for my earlier performance. Next week will be the project briefing. I do not know what to expect but hope to do well for it.

For sure, I am expecting to enjoy my 1 month break. Perhaps get a job or something.

Spring Cleaning

2005-08-27T19:36:00.000+08:00

I went to school on a Saturday for the first time. There is actually somebody manning the guard post of the school.

I went to school to help clean up the musolahs in school. After a late night yesterday, I went all out to give a hand. Sadly the turnout was quite apalling. There were 5 of us in all. This endeavour of starting up NYPMS has been challenging. I hope to play a vital role in it.

What I want

2005-08-24T16:41:00.000+08:00

I guess if you want something bad, you will have it. Insyaallah. That is how Allah has planned it. I must have faith that I would get what I work for. Even if some things seems bleak at the moment. Even if I still do not have the things that I want. It probably means that I am not doing things the right way.

One semester of school is almost over. What do I wish to achieve??

Nietzsche's Superman

2005-08-18T00:06:00.000+08:00

I have been doing research on Superman as I am doing an analysis of Smallville for Understanding Media. I just came to me how weak a man's mental capability is.

When man becomes too self absorbed with various ideas and not have faith in Allah, he becomes crazy. This Nietzsche guy is a philosopher who basically do not believe in the higher power.

Carl Jung also ended up crazy. Most artists end up crazy.

There has to be a connection somewhere. Like my ustaz says, we must not question the nature of Allah and things that are beyond our mental understanding. There are many things that human beings are capable of but in reality our abilities are limited.

Dialogue Session

2005-08-17T20:09:00.000+08:00

I went to school to attend NYPMS meeting but I attended a dialogue session for malay/muslim polytechnic students. Among the panelists were our malay/muslims ministers. It was enlightening.

If anything it renewed my sense of achieving the best. The need to look at my strengths and see how to manipulate it so as to improve areas of my weakness. Hope to get to know people through events such has this.

Design Fundamental Presentation was great

2005-08-16T17:34:00.000+08:00

The thing about stress is it is usually made up by yourself. All you can hope for in anything is for the best after putting in all of your effort. All of your effort here means considerable amount of time but not getting in the way of other responsibility.

I was having negative thoughts but managed to get myself to get things done orderly with some sacrifice. What is the worst that can happen rite?

Of course after all these, I can only work harder. Prayer also come into important play here.

Bad Day

2005-08-13T10:23:00.000+08:00

I am handling things that come in my way faster. Even though the events that has been coming towards my way is bad, I am handling them well.

I love the video Bad Day by Daniel Powter. Keep story short....bike problems again.

NYPMS

2005-08-11T19:04:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was an introduction to NYPMS ceremony. It is not official yet but Alhamdulillah there are people who are there to make it come true. I hope that this will be an opportunity to make new friends.

I feel stronger now. I want to give the best in everything that I do. My grades so far has been averaging in B. I hope to do better. Hard work is needed.

Eat Dust!! Suckers and IPPT Briefing

2005-08-03T16:49:00.000+08:00

Travelling home from the briefing was fun. All the NS men walking to their cars (big deal) and there was one other guy riding a bike. It was some chopper kind of bike. It was loud. He was revving it as he started his bike. There was no race or anything really.

When I reached the Canberra Rd stretch, there was a red light. I was there first, the a car, then the bike. 200 m ahead was another traffic light. My favourite. The one that I usually turn left and make a u-turn and turn left again to avoid waiting if the light goes red. I was hoping the light would turn red even before the others arrive, just to relive my happy moments. The light turned green and the chopper began to overtake me. Halfway towards the second traffic light, the second traffic light turned amber then red. The chopper was slowing down to stop. As usual, I made my magical manouvre. Eat Dust!! Suckers

The briefing earlier covered IPPT and and NS pay matters. Here are some facts to note down so that I can refer to this later:

IPPT must be taken once a year
Those studying like myself need not take my RT
Window is closed and cannot be taken 2 days after birthday
RT consists of 3 phase, 4wks 2 times weekly; 2wks 3 times and another 2 wks
I can attempt 3 IPPT and get paid for the service. Injury sustained after the 3 tries are not the ARMY will not pay for any injuries

Personnel can be called up to 3 times per year, not more than 40 days
13 yr cycle or until 40 yrs old then dumped to Mindef Reserve; ROD, run out date

Something like tat..

Reaching for the Stars

2005-08-02T20:18:00.000+08:00

It's the new week of the new term. Time flew by pretty fast. After one assignment ends, another comes along. This is how my life will be for a few years now. Time can be managed though.

As I walked into Nanyang Polytechnic, I looked up and saw a banner, "Graduation 2005". I was transported to a near future in 2008. When it is finally my time to get a diploma. I just feel that doing my best in my assignments is something that is natural. It is my calling. So far I have done pretty well. But I can make life fun as well.

I wanna check my school gym out. I need return to my prime.

Reflections

2005-07-22T21:51:00.000+08:00

Well, it's the term break. Cannot believe it. It has already been a term since I got back to school. (I am playing Vitamin C's graduation as I am typing this out) I brings a lot of sad memories of my incompetence.

Come on, it has been already 1 term, 8 weeks, 40 days of school. What have I done? Nothing!! in terms of social wise. People are everywhere but I am still in my world. I am just not stretching my comfort zone.

I joined silat then quit. This is a wise choice. But I want to join some other CCA. Archery perhaps. I need to do that. I believe community work will open me up. I must do that as well. Study wise, I am doing okay. It is the same thing that is creeping up to me. Something that will finally catch up with me again.

Pretending will make the problem go away. Pretending is the problem.

Also I don't like that I am not getting any fitter. Whatever it takes man.

Inefficiency.....getting old

2005-07-13T20:51:00.000+08:00

I hate when I am inefficient. The most common case of inefficiency occurs when the place is disorganised. However today's inefficiency in doing my homework includes the unreliable internet connection and the computer that always hang up on me. It just gets on my nerve. Not being able to print out things exactly as I want it is another frustration.

Hopefully, the computer remains stable as it is now.

Today, I went to school to watch Moulin Rouge. My initial opinion was of movie when it was first produced is that it must be crappy since it is a musical. I missed watching on TV twice and caught some excerpts of it shutting it down before long.

I dreaded having to watch it but I was pleasantly surprised. I was engaged to the movie. I like the part when the show uses familiar modern tunes in the musical. What really grabbed me was the inclusion of Nirvana's Smell Like Teen Spirit. The audience was not affected by that though. Another was Oasis' Heroes. Still no reaction. But they knew the song after that, Celine Dion's Titanic song. What can say? I am OLD..

West Coast

2005-07-08T21:34:00.000+08:00

So today, the family went to grandparent's place. Before that, we went to Buona Vista to collect my O levels cert. There was this sweet lady manning the reception of the Customer Service Center.

After an hour at our grandparents place we went to West Coast. For the kids.... and the kid in the rest of us.

Dad reliving walking on 'titi' (wooden planks) back in his Pulau Brani Days. (An island; Dad lived in wooden houses on the sea by the shore). Mom overlooking from behind.

I forego showing my perspective drawing as I felt obliged to follow even though there are a lot of work and still so little time. I am grateful though.

I am doing fine

2005-07-04T22:16:00.000+08:00

I did pretty awesome for the understanding media presentation. It proofs that preparation beforehand will help. Also, I do not think I will continue silat. Also, I got an A for my UM test.

I don't know how I will fare for my design fundamentals assignment though. Things have been really packed but I will make it through with proper planning like I have done so far. Also last Sunday, my PERGAS class resumed. I am looking forward to learning Arabic and Tajweed. This is the kind of challenge that I need. Something to reinforce my Thursday classes. On that class the substitute teacher for Sirah is one character I would say. Ustazah Siti Rahmah, I would want to check her out in the future. Her saying about silat further enforces my decision to leave silat. Maybe I could work part-time. That would earn me some bucks$$.

Design Fundamentals

2005-06-30T14:40:00.000+08:00

I have not been producing the pictures to the liking of Ms Amy Soon. Perhaps, I have not been putting enough effort. The 'cannot be bothered' part of me is still here although pretty weak. It's not that I putting effort. Apparently what I put in was not enough. I borrowed a book for reference. I got bitten over and over again trying to capture the ants in action. I took more than 50 shots of Nadia blowing bubbles.

I need to do things smart now. 5 weeks has passed. Being there, knowing things, I am obliged to certain responsibilities. I am not showing it.

Then there are posters everywhere around campus for ARMY recruitment. As if!!

Hard Work Required

2005-06-29T18:14:00.000+08:00

I need to work hard to excel in my studies. I am managing alright. Greatness is pushing oneself beyond one's expection. So in that sense, I am still not great. So many things that I could have done within the same period.

I am not feeling silat. Maybe I can try out other CCAs. Just not me I guess. Should I just work instead. Aybe community work or archery or aikido or guitar club.

My place is still in a mess. A lot of time is lost to inefficiency. Must do something about this.

Router Busted and the updates so far

2005-06-19T15:18:00.000+08:00

The router got busted for about 1 week now.

The renovation works is still ongoing after about 3 weeks. They started hacking the masterbedroom's toilet.

School wise, I joined Silat last Wednesday. I hope to make president of the club. I would need to train real hard to improve my physique. That has not started yet. So, I am confined to weekly trainings on Wednesdays these 6 weeks as the crew is having competition. I hope to weigh 80kg by end of this period.

School work wise has been quite smooth. There is a pressure of not wanting to get left behind. Social wise still need a lot of work. I am not pushing myself to be upfront, still wavering in the background.

I got a haircut and new wax. I am trying to be more image conscious. That's it for now.

Time flies by

2005-06-08T20:53:00.000+08:00

I feel that school passes by fast. It's already the mid of the second week. Again played football. Big bro tagged along. The 2 of us were probably the best players there. Of course, I could be bias. But my stamina still needs a lot of work.

Maybe I'll check the club crawl tomorrow. Also starting with our first group project tomorrow. I am doing 3 projects together with Amelie, Linda and Harold. Now, I know why we have many 'free' time. To do our project works. This is not counting the many others homework that I have. Time management is of upmost importance as to make this work.

Still having the money problems. I must do something about this.

Trying to settle in

2005-06-05T22:10:00.000+08:00

I am somewhat suffering what people call a culture shock. Changing has always been a challenge for me. Especially my lack of certain skills. I am getting better but still not as I should. The kitchenless home and new school is quite something to handle. I am so thankful for the school timetable. It is flexible.

But, I have yet to settle in the school. I do not know the places. I have not tried some of the facilities. I still don't know the people there.

HELP!!! I need a digital camera!!!!

I want a lot of things but I feel I need the digital camera.

Also, yesterday I saw Hafiz ex-fellow RP. He is working part-time at Shell. Says he's doing radio therapy or something at guess where...........NYP.

&^*$NOISE!!!%$%#

2005-06-01T22:14:00.000+08:00

The kitchen is going through a total makeover. I personally would not concur the whole idea. But since it is not my money I have no say and feel happy for dad if that's what he wants. No. I am not complaining at all. The family get to benefit from it. A makeover is always good.

Just that all the hacking and drilling resonates with the junction that I am on. My going back to school. My not working for now. Should I? My ideals of the future? My what to make up of the future? My willingness to peservere? My self-conscious? My fitness? My wanting to be dirt rich? My need to be on the Right Path?

Most of these are noise bombarded at me. As I have learnt, things will go through to get accomplished. Get the process right and I will get life right.

By the way, I think I saw a guy I knew from BMT in school. Looking forward to that. Can't wait for the Reference Drive issue to be resolved so that I can get on with my poly life.

The Movies and the Computer

2005-05-31T18:44:00.000+08:00

We got to class at 8 in the morning to find that there was no tutor around. Found out later that there was not supposed to be a class. We were free till 2pm. Most of class dmd0503 went to Bishan to catch Madagascar. I tagged along.

I found the prayers corner at block L. Performed Zohor after the movies. Took a look at the library and borrowed one book. Cash is depleting fast in buying supplies and such. Thus far it has been splendid. This is one course that will force me to open up. I am ready to do that instead of breaking apart and shutting down.

Still need to learn about things around the campus. Found out there was a parking spot for students' bikes. So far, I have been parking in the visitor's parking lot.

Now the computer. Got home and tag big bro together with mum and the 2 little sisters. To Sim Lim Square. Havent stepped my foot there for some time. Bro went there thinking that his motherboard is screwed. He got that and graphics card and cpu and memory.

Got back home, fixed it and still the monitor was blank. Then figured out that it was the power after testing on my system. Got the power from Hougang Mall nearby and still nothing. Eventually concluded that the monitor was the one but it was okay when configured with shimah's notebook.

So having bought all those, nothing was spoilt except the monitor which can still be used except for some glitch in DOS format.

Go Figure

Today is The Day

2005-05-30T07:50:00.000+08:00

School will start later at 11.10am, today. I am finally going back to a 'normal' life of most Singaporeans in the sense of education. It has been a 6 year hiatus.

I cannot help thinking what will happen in the next 3 years. I want to give my best. I know that my actions will determine my outcome. I am feeling a need to conform, to be seen as cool. But I am still very aware of what is real. I am thinking what should I wear? Who will I meet? Still, I am not pulling my hair out over these issues.

The best part is, I only to travel 10-15 minutes to get to school.

Where my money will come from?

2005-05-29T12:34:00.000+08:00

So, Friday was the last day I worked form my aunt at Muhammadiyah. Well it was a memorable experience. If anything, it makes me want to be a better person. Uncertain, a little sad that I did not connect more with the students and the people around there more. As usual I let things go by just like that. In fact I was unable to sleep early the previous night with my mind engulfed with thoughts.

So, I have been thinking maybe I coiuld return to pizza hut. But it just seemed way too much work. Perhaps start a successful online business. That is more challenging, more responsibility and flexible hard work.

I talked about business with old camp friend Firoskhan. He, being the artsy kinda like me felt that T-shirt printing is one we could try to venture into. That backed by my dream I had a couple of months ago, of my T-shirt business making a profit of $20,000 sparked this same old idea in me again.

Sergio Mora is The Contender

2005-05-26T23:23:00.000+08:00

I have been following the series The Contender and I feel that it is one of the best reality show on TV. You feel the determination from these guys. It is very inspiring for me. I rooted Peter Manfredo to win but it was not to be. I just thought he needed it more. Sergio is the smart one but he truly deserved it.

If only I have the focus of these guys. Another amazing guy runner uo is Alonso Gomez. He is small built compared to others, his heart is bigger than any other. Simply amazing what human beings can accomplished with heart.

Lovin' this stuff

2005-05-22T21:03:00.000+08:00

My exams is here. My PERGAS exams that is. For those not in the know, it is a weekly religious class that I attend. Today's exams was on Fiqh and Aqidah. I think I aced Fiqh, had some trouble with Aqidah. Alhamdulillah that I managed this far and hopefully to go all the way.

There is a little set back from all this. Next semester my class will be held in Madrasah Al-Irsyad all the way in Newton area, from the current Wisma Indah in Changi Road. I don't want this to stop me though.

Whatever it is, I have learnt that learning comes in stages. You cannot just expect to be a master at anything. You have to get through that process of input of information and trying to seal the input in and produce an output when you need it. Human is a progressive race. We crave for progress and we get that through our knowledge and hard work.

Also, only one week to my poly life. A little apprehensive, I'll take what life has for me.

Zombie

2005-05-20T22:12:00.000+08:00

Shit!! Sometimes, I just feel like a zombie. Being brainwashed by everything around me and not having control of what I do. It does not help that I am still without a sound plan of my future. Still financially dependent sucks. It felt better in the NS days, although I had less dough, I always know there is something for me for the month.

I see people my age, many have experienced life. Some with their own businesses. Some studying at degree levels. Some working. And there are some who seemed to be worse of than me. The thing is I admire people who has focus on their life. And I am sick of being 88kg. Damn, I was almost a lean 72kg. Sometimes it just feels there is too much work involved. I have always felt that my weight has been the dragging pivot of my life.

I am hoping to take part in active sports in polytechnic. I want the endorphins to consume me enough to let me get on with life and focus on the future.

Focus?? I am still clueless. So, for now, I Will focus on stretching my comfort zone in all areas. Of course not steering into immoral zones.

Kampung Buangkok

2005-05-15T20:57:00.000+08:00

So, I decided to cycle to Buangkok to search for the illusive village there. It was 7 in the morning and I asked little bro along. So we cycled. I have a rough estimation of where the place was. As a pizza hut rider, I had delivered pizza around the vicinity of Gerald Drive.

(Cycling along gerald dr)Firstly there was a black dog. Didnt bother us. About 50m ahead, there was a brown dog. I stared at it the moment I saw it. It took that as a challenge as chased me. Instincts told me to speed up. It run along me at the side. I shouted at it when it got near. Then it kept a distance, still following me. Gave up chase after some time. Got our shirts dirtied from the puddles of muddy water we dashed through.

I kept cool all time, sensing no threat throughout but doing as I thought I should. I knew the dog could have attacked any time it wanted to. But it didnt. It was a guard dog I believe. Probably trained not to bite. Unlike my experience during primary school when I was chased by a tiny dog. I ran like I never ran before. Endorphine pumped and full of adrenaline, the dog was no where in sight when I stopped to look back.

Didnt really explore the 'village' as it didnt seem visitor friendly and dogs were everywhere. There were only the 2 of us. Made our way back after that.

Am I going anywhere??

2005-05-13T20:25:00.000+08:00

Haven't found anything blog worthy for days. In fact I don't consider my entries blogworthy, just my outlet of expression.

Went to see grandaunt(Nek Uda) in changi hospital. It makes one think.

Polytechnic Orientation

2005-05-07T21:59:00.000+08:00

I lived through 3 days of orientation, from Tues to Thurs. People were generally nice. Being 23, 6 years older than most people there was different. I did not place any expectation so there was no disappointment of any sort.

Still no idea how I will go through 3 years and how much of the opportunity available I would seize. Being 23, I guess, I know what I should do.... and not necessarily will do it. In fact I felt bogged at the amount of work I have to put in for the course. There is a known 10-15% dropout rate of the course. Pressure... a little.

So, my life as a student in Nanyang Polytechnic begins.

Old Acquaintances

2005-04-29T16:46:00.000+08:00

Friday prayers again spells out En-Naeem as usual. Dad's working the night shift. He took a ride to mosque with older brother. I took him home. So there at the carpark, I saw a couple of people from Pizza Hut. Talked briefly. There was Rahim and Hafiz if I am not wrong. They remembered my name. At that point, I somewhat regret not making the extra effort to know them better. That's me, just blinding walking through life. I belief there was a guy who took IPPT with me there as well but I was unsure.

Yesterday at the Al-Quran terjemahan class, Ustaz Idris was saying if there were 3 people in a group, the oldest would be appointed as the leader. I am visualising that weight I will carry in polytechnic.

I want to be the best that I can be. If there is a weak side in me, I want him to die. That is my resolution.

It's Official

2005-04-26T15:38:00.000+08:00

It is official. I received a confirmation letter from NYP that I my application is successful. Only a week from orientation at the polytechnic. What will I wear? How should I act? Should I just be me? Who am I? I am probably not bother with these questions...that much. I would probably go with the flow. My flow. Definition of my flow is watch from one corner first.

Was watching the contender again last night. Possibly the best reality show ever. I respect those guys who fight for their dreams.

It's going to be a month of working at Muhammadiyah soon. Time seems to fly by faster. I still need to use my time effectively.

Personalising

2005-04-23T06:23:00.000+08:00

I finally tried personalising my blog. Nothing fancy but hey, it was fun. Learned new things. I saw an X-1 with a basket up-front. I thought it was impossible for an X-1 to have a basket in front.

I need to maintain my bike. It is beginning to have trouble starting up. Did not get the chance yesterday as I ran a couple of errands. Grandma asked me to send her over to Ubi before Friday prayers. I obliged. Then I had to wait up for the delivery people sending a mattress for the parents and a wardrobe for Sis.

Maybe today...

If It's Not Meant To Be

2005-04-20T21:07:00.000+08:00

comic competition

i returned my almost due books and took a peek at the library notice board. There it was, the result for the anti-vandilism comic competition. It was my foray into the comic industry. Scanning through the list, I fail to locate my name. no prize voucher for me.

rejected

returning home mum handed me a mail from SAF. It was regarding my application of the SAF-poly scheme. It said, "We regret to inform you ........ is unsuccessful.

IPPT

then I had to take my annual IPPT. I failed. At least I saw this coming.

If it's not meant to be so be it. This only open a path to more avenues in life. No regrets. I tried. The comic competition is a good practice. I produce the result in a too short a period of time. The story line is undeveloped and not natural. However, I loved how it turned ouot as it was my first attempt.

As for the SAF thingy. Well, I didn't know if i really wanted it in the first place. I went for the sake of just trying where it leads me too. I learnt that my verbal english sucks. Also need to think on my toes. I might need to find other ways to earn money.

IPPT, it is time to return to my former glory and beyond.

Nothing lost and lesson learnt... still learning.

The Grass in Greener On The Other Side

2005-04-19T17:17:00.000+08:00

I live the truth of the saying 'The Grass is Greener on the other side.' This humanly trait is what makes man progressive by nature. The never satisfied nature of man can be a bad thing when he is not thankful of what he has.

Take me for example, I would have done anything to get into NYP in the Digital Media Design Course. I even tried for the direct intake. I failed. But I was pleasantly surprised when I actually passed my Humanities subject, Alhamdulillah. And yet, I feel that this achievement is not as hyped up as it used to be.

I am going to play this humanly trait to my advantage. Aim BIG in life. There is so much that I could accomplished and so much I could have. Yearning the 'what I could haves' is another mutation of 'the grass is greener' syndrome. What has passed cannot be changed no matter what. I have the hand to decide my present and future. Understanding this concept is a key to success in life.

The opportunity for me is limitless. I can only grin at the prospect of maximising to my fullest potential.

2005-04-12T23:28:00.000+08:00

Cubicle Shot

2005-04-12T23:23:00.000+08:00

ONLY IN THE ARMY. Here is a specimen of the army's innovation.

Without Glasses Today

2005-04-10T23:30:00.000+08:00

Today in PERGAS class she came without glasses. She is just as beautiful if not better. Still don't know her name. Has a really strong feeling that she was an En-Naeem student. The fact that she is of the same age as me seems to confirms this. Being a NUS student in if I remember engineering... of some sort, she seemed impossible for my reach.

I have a long way to go...

Also, I am doing pretty well today with starving myself. My consuming hydroxycut is doing some sleeping deprivation for me. Woke up for a binge but very much in control, Alhamdulillah. I hope the pressure of returning to school full-time would enable me to lose weight for real and stay that way. It would help me in getting the army scholarship. The interview is the day after tomorrow!!

Posto posto (Not my mail)

2005-04-08T22:31:00.000+08:00

I got my enrolment package for my Nanyang Poly DMD course. More things to be done. I'll manage. I will begin my real life soon. That real life is living my life to the fullest like tomorrow. Juggling everything and everything will be wonderful. Of course I am not this naive in reality.

"Life gives you what it thinks you can handle." I just picked up this line in Smallville by Martha Kent from the premiere of season 4. Not that I have not watched it. Just happened to premiere in Channel 5 at a good time slot of 8.30pm.

And So... I was looking through the forms and mum saw a form that was not mine. It belongs to a girl posted to same course as I am. From the looks of it she took the exams as a pirvate candidate as well. So I took the liberty of calling to ask if she had any missing forms. Seems like she has not received the package yet. I might expect a call if she is missing one.

So What's Up?

2005-04-03T11:25:00.000+08:00

I started working with my aunt at her stall. Pretty good pay compared to other regular uneducated jobs. The working hours is even shorter. I leave house at 0815 to send my mum to the old stall and reach there at 0840 and head to the new stall at 0900 and start work at 0915 then end at about 1015 and close shop by 1030 reaching the old stall again about 1045 to fetch mum home.

So this is what I will be doing for the next 2 months till school begins for me. Things is not looking any much different in the physcical fitness department. A little low in spirits in the religious department. Have not been reciting the Quran regularly.

Also, I never thought myself as one who cares about my looks. BUT I think the pimple on my face is pulling down my moods lately but this will pass as will other things...

Posting

2005-03-22T07:32:00.000+08:00

The wait is finally over. I got my posting. I actually got a place in Digital Media Design in Nanyang. I cannot wait fot the phase of my life. I will be starting on the 28 May. I am still waiting for further info from the polytechnic itself. So... I am thinking of finishing up the current module that I am taking with ITE. I know it will be redundant but, it that is all where it all started.

How Its Gonna Be?

2005-03-21T07:57:00.000+08:00

Well, tomorrow is it. Tomorrow I will get the placing of which school I get. I am still unsure if I want to go through with design if I get through due to religious obligations. I have not been exercising to prepare myself for the Apr 12 interview.

But, even with all these, I am thankful that my life will open a brand new chapter of something. Dengan ilmu sahaja tidak mencukupi, ia perlu diamalkan.

Counting the Days

2005-03-12T20:59:00.000+08:00

I am counting the days till my school placement. I am counting the days till my interview with the SAF. I am probably going through the whole 3 years of polytechnic life. I am hoping ti get $1000 per month through the SAF-poly scheme. BUT I do not know if this is the best solution to my education needs. I am thankfulto have found Pergas and my weekly tafseer class. Still for secular education, I feel like taking A levels. Maybe I should try doing so while doing my diploma. THEN I would be bombarded with activities.

ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. Just like me attempting to pass my IPPT. It has been ages since I last passed my IPPT. I even gained back most of my pre-BMT weight. STILL, I am doing my best to pass. I am trying this new routine. Daily speed runs in the morning and one at night to tru meet the running timing. Hopefully my pull-up will improve with light weights training. If you had one shot, one opportunity, would you take it or let it slip??

It's about time I get a girlfriend..

Living Without Internet Connection

2005-03-07T14:13:00.000+08:00

So, I have been living without internet connection for some time now. I am thinking there is a lesson to be learnt from this. Still this abstinence hopefully made me a better man somehow.

I am bored at home without work. So I went to Suntec City for the Career fair on Saturday. I was looking towards more to the army career exhibition outside of Carrefour. As I expected one need to pass ippt or napfa to qualify for any career in the army. I am trying to pass my ippt as I type. Well, I am trying to cut down on food intake. I have been doing weight training. However, the twist fromo my norm is, I am concentrating on toning. So, I am using lighter weights with as many repetitions.

Shoot! I gained back almost all the weight I lost from my national service. What more, I really the money from the poly-army scholarship. It's $1000 per month. Any desperate man would take up such an offer. Definitely not getting any younger. Still haven't got a clue of what I should really be good at. Money is a daily problem. Jobless with bills to pay is never a good combination. I must try hard to accomplish something. I know I can. And I shall with much prayers to Allah. So with nothing to do, I shall try my best to lose weight and pass my IPPT. It will be great to start polytechnic life with a great physic.

OleVelsResULt

2005-03-01T09:46:00.000+08:00

So, internet connection has been down because someone has not payed his bill.

Yesterday I was pleasantly surprised by my o level results. I got A1 for science, hardly surprising, I got C6 for combined humanities, surprise of the year. I am thankful to Allah.

I want to change myself. I am going to take polytechnic life as a new face to become new. The tafseer class and the pergas is going great. I love them. Still, so much to learn.

And so, comes the difficult choice of selecting the right course for myself. I am also going to try to apply for the poly-SAF scholarship. At least, I am still considering. I am old enough to be supporting myself. Work wise, I do not mind. I have some fear of the influence that it will have on me. But the back of my mind says, "$1000, bring it on!!" For me, I always look for an escape route to something. A channel to diversify and be flexible to make my situation better. So 5 years is not too long right?? If I do take up this scholarship, I would want to challenge myself to build up a business and if possible, pay back everything and more and not serve them. If there is such a clause.

FinaLLy!!

Is it the last?

2005-01-28T23:26:00.000+08:00

Finally another break for the week. So I have worked for Mohsin for 2 and the half weeks. The question now is whether today was the last day of work. A heck of a day it was. I got lost and wasted a lot of time on the expressway. I probably made rayspeed lose one customer. I do not bother much about it.

It is not something that I enjoy doing as it is killing my bike. And the pay is is worthy the effort that I am putting in. Working back at pizza hut would be much better. BUT, I did learn more about Singapore's road. I even went to Catholic Junior College today.

South Buona Vista Road is one interesting road. I need a better job!!

The Interview @ TP

2005-01-25T21:41:00.000+08:00

So, there I was. Tired from work with many and far apart places to deliver letters. I was at the compound of Temasek Polytechnic. I have somewhat made up my mind that I would like to take up the DMD course in Nanyang Polytechnic. I was there as a backup plan. I believe that it would make a good drill for my interview at Nanyang.

I was already feeling flustered with the job that I need to do on that day. But I tried anywhere. Again, pretty girls are around. One was doing the interview like myself. A quick glance showed that I was one of the most prepared around. However, my interview was unrehearsed. I could not even describe the course that I wanted to apply for. I need to polish up the materials for my presentation. There were parts that the interviewees doubted that I created some of the website. But overall, there is a chance that I might be accepted.

I would have to wait 2-3 weeks for the results. I still do not understand if I need to meet the minumum requirement. If so, why have a special admission exercise at all?

Open House

2005-01-22T16:22:00.000+08:00

I went to 2 poly open houses with my sister, Shimah, today. I am thrilled with the prospect of going back to school, finally. I will have to accept the fact that I will have to depend on my parents. I will be 23 soon. Not an age where you depend on your parents really. I am ready to shape my future a much better one.

At Nanyang poly, I managed to go for the DMD second interview where I will be tested to draw something. Back there, I was my perfectionist self, trying to draw something to proof that I did indeed produce the works that I showed. Shimah had to find pencils and erasers for me. Thank you. At the Digital Entertainment Technology booth, I signed up for Special Admission Exercise whereby I would need to send in a CD of some application or game??? I was a little taken aback by its requirements. But, I do know some flash.

Then we headed to Ngee Ann Polytechnic. Then back home. There is Ninja-Do for CCA in Ngee Ann. So that's it.

Still Working Hard

2005-01-20T06:55:00.000+08:00

I am still working hard. I must start taking care of my X-1 bike better. I have yet to read up on how to service. It has crossed the 1000km mark in less than 2 weeks. I am grateful to Allah that I even have a job now. For how long, I will be able to hold on will be another story on its own.

I have sidetracked from my physical training. I also have a big project coming up with the Web Application Development. Focus.

Hell Week

2005-01-15T19:54:00.000+08:00

Well the NDU(Naval Diving Unit) has hell week. This is going to be mine. So much uncertainty still lurking regarding my future, I cannot help but feel this way. Not helping is the fact that there will be a lot of things to be done next week.

Tomorrow, I will settle collecting my log card and my ic from the moto shop. No sweat. Then head to class in Pergas. Then if he's there, collect my pay and the letters for Monday in Bedok. All these with Ema. She needs to attend class as well. I want to ask Ustaz the hukum of animation. This has been bugging for a very long time.

Then I have to worry about getting my assignments from ITE. The assignments from my Drawing Techniques module. I want them for Special Admission Exercise for my full-time course in DMD in Nanyang. I will aslo consider other courses.

Sadly, I might not have much time to look around the courses offered. Luckily there is Saturday where I might be able to spend more time unless I am mobilised. That is the cherry on the cake. I might be mobilised anytime between 18 to 25 January.

Also need to top up my bank account for NTUC income. After going through all this, I guess it is not too bad after all.

New Job New Bike

2005-01-12T23:05:00.000+08:00

I began the day hoping that the factory Dataplus would call me. I went for an interview yesterday applying for a production operator position. At 11, I started work with Mohsin. Mohsin is a guy I knoe from my previous work. He was a supervisor. He called me up on Sunday about this new job he has, delivering letters. I was obliged to give it a try. I was very reluctant to try especially to work in the west area, using a high fuel consuming bike.

Hurray!! The new motorbike is available for collection. It is a Yamaha X-1. FY8136L. It is uncanny that the plate number resembles a lot like the old vespa FL8126J. It is a better replacement. Dad, Big Bro and I collected the bike. I had to rush to school before the bike was fixed of its plate number. I only got a little feel of it when I got home. And I love it. The engine sounds simply beautiful. I had second thoughts, since the installments need to be paid and the high annual insurance policy. I thought it might be a little small. It's not. It's nice to sit on. A little too light but a skilled rider can handle any bike. Insyallah.

Work was interesting. I went to 3 corners of Singapore in a day. Never have I been to Tuas. It was so foreign that I felt like being in Johor. Second Link is beautiful from far. Passed by old camp Sembawang. It was okay. I feel even better now that the new bike is here. I guess I'm stuck with this job for now.

Deep Diving

2005-01-11T18:32:00.000+08:00

I took a deep dive in the pool of debt. Notwithstanding the fact that I am already bogged down with internet connection debt and my school stuffs that need to be purchased and paid. I bought a new bike, a Yamaha X-1.

So life has to continue and I so badly need to get a job to pay for the monthly installment of $168 + $90 for the first 2 months. Of course dad will pay off the debt when he gets his CPF. BUT, I want to choose to pay him back and make the bike totally mine.

Still no idea how I will get through polytechnic and be independent at the same time.

Now to ITE. My first class of the new module was great. The lecturer seems really enthusiastic and even gave us homework. The carpark was filled with bikes. With 500++ students it is the biggest intake ever. And they want to shift the whole system to the academic calender. To shift it to align with polytechnic calender. A month every year.

Also I started my Pergas last Sunday. I hope to make myself a new man by attending the classes. Already the lesson has given me some impact. I might even get to know some girls there.

Making a Choice

2005-01-08T06:38:00.000+08:00

I have been busy looking for a job. Sadly there have not been one reply. I am still incertain whether to work temporary or full-time while pursuing part-time studies. I took the translation of Al-Quran class on Thursday and will start my first year of SPI(Certificate of Islamic Studies) tomorrow. I pray to Allah that all these will bring closer to the way of living.

I am not ready to make the big decision of whether to skip polytechnic and do private without proper consultation of others. I will perform 'Istiharah' prayers to seek the best path.

Training Day

2005-01-01T14:18:00.000+08:00

Today is the third time whereby I would be training with my personal trainer Bahktier Awal. He is a friend of mine. He wants to set up a fitness program and so he offered to train me up. The program is for 6 weeks, 3-4 times a week. Honestly, I have not been doing my part as I have been eating as I like. I was also fearful as there was no immediate weight loss but the opposite occured. But I know muscles will develop and thus the added weight. Today I weigh at 85.5kg. A loss of 0.5kg.

I so need a bike now.

Also, today is the new day of a new year. I don't give a damn to the new year except that I know this is going to a pivotal year. I will be doing my further studies no matter what I decide on. Money is always on the mind. I got my ERS yesterday.

Back to training. I am expecting Bahktier to push me beyond my perceived limits. He has done that. He has shown his worthiness in this field. He needs to improve in certain areas. His target in 6 weeks for me is 8-9kg loss. I hope that will materialise.

Diversify

2004-12-25T19:33:00.000+08:00

It is a wild world out there. There is so much to be explored and so much to conquer. I am certain that business is the way to go. I am trying drawing to see if it is my niche. I also signed myself up as a tutor. The options is still wide open. I must see the limitless possibility and make that my strength. Still, I want to make the best choice in my polytechnic choice. Make it worth the effort. Utilising the skill for the future.

I invited Bako over to take a look at his website yesterday. Web design is another open option. We talked business. He wants to try a new exercise program. I will be his guinea pig. I welcome the idea with open arms. I like the idea of helping one another. Also my 600 share of ERS will be cashed in on Jan 1 2005.